Why Homeschool?

This is not going to become a blog about Homeschooling, unless the Lord leads it that way, because I feel there is just so much support, resource information, and testimonies to keep us busy for a lifetime!

But this is about my journey in Him, and I've found another step in the path that He is leading me.

My deepest prayer has been "Less of me, Lord, More of You". There is still so much of ME. There is so much that I still hold on to, that I think I've surrendered, but I find myself still holding on to, and it's sooo heavy.

I have a little bookmark made with a string and a couple of beads. On one end is a transparent bead, and inside are little flecks, like bubbles that glow in the dark. These flecks don't stop glowing the whole night! Every time I see this bead (it's in my Bible as a bookmark), I cry out in my heart to Him, to make me so transparent, that only Jesus through the Holy Spirit in me will shine through. That there will be no more Jenni in the way, just Him - and people can see Him, and He gets all the glory! I want to be just like that bead!

So what has this got to do with Homeschooling? Well, my husband (Dion) and I know the Lord has called us to do this since Shandon (now 10) was 4 years old. But I knew there was just no way I was willing to give up my "freedom" and have my children around me 24/7. I was just too selfish to even consider more than just a passing thought that maybe this is His Perfect Plan for us and for our boys.

So the Lord quit calling, and I quit asking.
Until now.

Now that I am getting deeper into Him, wanting more of Him, and telling Him that no matter what it takes to get there, I will be obedient because I am so desperate for Him.

So here's my next step in my journey with Him. To be obedient to His Call.
Yes, this is the best option for our boys, but why would He specifically direct me to do homeschooling? I'm sure I'm going to mess up big time, unless I keep my hand firmly tucked in His, and stay on my knees pretty much most of the time!

Well, last night, through one of my Homeschooling forums, I discovered a website by one of the members called Revived Christian Women which has answered so many of my questions!
What a perfect way to learn to die to self! I really encourage any woman (even men!) to get into Linda's teachings on her site. It is not only for homeschooling, but has some really deep insight to our walk with Him as our Heavenly Father, and the Perfect Parent.

Father, may You be the One to teach me, to guide me, to direct my path. May You become more in me, and me become less, that You may be glorified, that You would be able to use me for Your Kingdom. I love You Lord. Teach me to love You More.

In Love
Jenni

I surrender all?

Oh, this journey seems to be changing directions every time I think I've got it all figured out!

Have you ever prayed those really hard prayers... like the song we sang in church, "I surrender all"... have we ever really considered what we're praying? I mean REALLY thought about it..

I Surrender All
(written by Judson W. Van DeVenter - all red added by Jenni!)


Verse 1:
All (except my husband) to Jesus, I surrender;
all (except my children) to Him I freely give.
I will ever (except when the money runs out) love and trust Him,
in His presence daily (except those days when I'm living for self) live.

Chorus:
I surrender all (except my reality shows on t.v.), I surrender all (except my book club).
All (except my addiction to chocolate and coffee) to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all (except all my "good" works at the church).

Verse 2:
All (except my pride) to Jesus I surrender;
humbly (except when I'm feeling really self-righteous) at His feet I bow.
Worldly pleasures (except the ones that really make me "feel" good!) all forsaken;
take me, Jesus, take me now (I just need to take my afternoon nap first).

Chorus

Verse 3:
All to Jesus, I surrender;
make me, Savior, wholly Thine.
Let me feel the Holy Spirit (Just don't ask me to give up all the above),
truly know that Thou art mine.

Okay, I really don't want to offend anyone, but I do sincerely hope that by some strange chance you came across this blog because you too are feeling the call to Hear His Voice, to give up anything that is standing in the way of knowing the Father's Perfect will. To have that burning fire of revival lit up inside you like the revivalists of old. No matter how strange it will look to your family, no matter what the cost, or how painful it will get, you know deep down inside it really is the only way to embrace the Cross. To know His Presence fully.
I'm not there yet. I have such a long way to go because there are still so many things that I am holding on to.

We have surrendered each other (Hubby & I), surrendered our children, our business, our lifestyle, our addictions. It's an on going process, but we can't do it in our own strength, we can only do it with Jesus.
But slowly, ever so slowly, I am hearing Him more. and I when I dare to ask Him," Lord, what else do I need to give up to get closer to You? What am I putting first before You?"
I pretty much do get an answer, and the answer is not always an easy one.
Like giving up my book club membership. Why? Surely there is nothing wrong with belonging to a Christian book club? Well, I have learned, we serve a Jealous God, and even our Christian clubs or friends or works in the Church or Christian novels can be an abomination to Him if it sidetracks our time with Him.

I read the most amazing sermon by Charles Spurgeon called "Jealous God" you can read it here
Give it a try, I encourage you, it really challenged me.

Blessings!

Jenni